So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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