I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize