just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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