so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My ass is underappreciated
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
