im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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