Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
