I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
