Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
