I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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