I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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