..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
