he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
