He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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