he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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