Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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