NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
