i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
