I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
