I skipped work to stalk him.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
