Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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