she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i out mim tonsoeep
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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