eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
