i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
