haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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