One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
