It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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