Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
