Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
