I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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