apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
