margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize