i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
