I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
