Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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