I love black thongs
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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