I look better un-naked...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
