he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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