he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
