Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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