piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
