After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
