My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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