I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
