It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
