i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
