whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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