I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
