Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
