I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
