okay pat passed out under dana's car
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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