K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
As shirtless as possible
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
