Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
