We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
