; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
