sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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