Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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