saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My ATM looks so different sober.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
