It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
