I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
