what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize