your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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