Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
